The different forms of violence

The controlling spouse will use the different forms of violence to create feelings of guilt, doubt, shame, fear and helplessness in the spouse. To create these impacts, he will use domination strategies such as psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, social and economic violence.

Verbal abuse:

To insult someone by using crude and insulting language; to scream and raise the voice; to blame the spouse and reproach her for her actions; to criticize and use taunts or humiliating remarks; to threaten directly or indirectly.

“My boyfriend screams at me and says he does not want a kid with a slut like me.”

Psychological violence:

It consists in denigrating the other; to blackmail her (with childcare for example); to threaten (to leave her if she does not do what he wants, to commit suicide); to control outings, clothing, dating; to be indifferent to her emotions; to harass her after the breakup; to send her emails of insults, to spread rumors and damage her reputation; to intimidate her (graffiti); to spend time in the same places as her.

“You’re not even able to raise children the right way!”

“If you leave, you will not have custody of the children.”

“Fat as you are, no one will want you.”

Physical violence:

It is using physical force to prevent the other from passing, squeezing, tearing clothes, hitting, throwing things, pushing and killing. Abuse is often disguised as an accident. When physical violence is used, there is a good chance that other forms of violence are present in the relationship, such as verbal and psychological abuse.

“When he’s in a crisis, he prevents me from going out of the bedroom.”

Sexual violence:

It is to impose sexual activities without consent or against the will by using blackmail, intimidation, manipulation, threat, rewards, violence, drugs or alcohol.

“He insists on having sex. If I refuse, he ignores me for two days.”

It is to pressure to have sex, to sulk the other who does not want to, to refuse to wear the condom, to humiliate and compare, to force the other to watch porn movies or to have sex with other people, to force his partner to prostitute herself to make money for him, to impose sexual positions, to rape her.

“My boyfriend says he will go back with his ex if I do not have sex with him because she was more upset than me. Since I do not want to lose him, I’m going to have sex even though I’m not ready.”

Fear of losing the other can make you agree to do things you are not comfortable with, but it’s important to respect your limits and know how to say no, even to someone you love.

Economic violence:

Economic violence manifests itself in behaviors and actions that prevent a person from gaining economic freedom.

Controlling expenses, excluding the spouse from making financial decisions, depriving her of the money necessary for the proper functioning of the home, putting the other person into debt, preventing her from working.

“You do not need new pants; who do you want to please?”

Social violence:

This violence can be manifested by behaviors and actions that prevent the spouse from accessing her freedom to relate to others.

To isolate the spouse by denigrating her family and relatives, prevent her from having activities with her kith and kin.