What is a healthy relationship?

Equality in the field of need, dignity and rights is the best way to prevent violence. If my boyfriend has the right to do anything, but not me, he has more power than me in the relationship, so it’s not equal.

In an egalitarian relationship, the partners have the same rights and the same responsibilities.

Everyone is responsible for oneself and the expression of one’s needs. Gender equality is the best way to prevent violence; it allows everyone to flourish in the relationship.

We must take the time to question what is important for us and to define each element.

An interesting visual tool can be used to facilitate our reflection. Incidentally, it derives from the animations “I love you, but not at all costs!”

Here are some essential indicators in a healthy and egalitarian relationship:


To cope with difficulties in a non-violent way. Here is a myth: “If he loves me, he should guess my thoughts and my desires, meet my needs without me having to talk.” No, you have to express your feelings, do not keep quiet or sulk to make someone understand something.


When we respect people, we pay attention to them, we try to treat them as we would like to be treated.


Believing in oneself and in the other is an important foundation in a relationship. Jealousy is not a proof of love. It is normal to wish not to lose the other, but it is a feeling that should lead to thinking and discussing the lack of trust. Jealousy is problematic when it becomes obsessive and leads to control the other.


It allows us to recognize our individual value as well as our dignity.

Positive affirmation

Affirmation means asserting one’s rights, expressing dissatisfaction, giving one’s opinion, expressing a feeling, saying no, learning to negotiate, making a clear demand and establishing one’s limits without being afraid of the reaction of one’s boyfriend.

Humor, friends, freedom

A healthy relationship gives way to activities with friends. If the relationship ends, friends are always there, so do not neglect them. Isolation can make you vulnerable because you can no longer confide, have advice, or ask for help.

Intimacy, consenting sexuality

When you say no, it means no. Period!


It is important to know what it means to be faithful to yourself. Examples: “Is it ok to flirt around? To kiss? It is necessary to discuss with the other to know how he defines loyalty. We are not perfect, but we must be aware of our limits and our values.

Another important value: To be responsible

To consider the other person as my equal, to put my limits, to take care of my well-being, to listen to what the other person has to say to me, to take into account the needs of the other person, to respect his limits, to resolve conflicts in a non-violent way, to express my needs, my feelings, to respect the other and make him respect me, to get help when needed.

The heart is a tool to focus on our values, on what we want in a relationship.

In general, for a relationship to be satisfactory, it is important to have a partner who has a heart similar to ours (same definition of values). We have the right to demand the ingredients we want.

Can the control be positive? Control can be positive when it comes to self-control.